Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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