ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
