It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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