your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
