don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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