where am i from again
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
