My first STD was from a foam party
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
