hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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