My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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