I think my vagina is haunted
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
