I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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