you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
