and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
