There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
