Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
