Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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