I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we're making bets on your personal life
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize