How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
