We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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