is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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