And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
