Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
