sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
