My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
