You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
