I need help removing her.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
