your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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