so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
