He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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