Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
