True but thats because hes a fetus.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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