Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
