then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
