Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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