I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
