You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
