You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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