im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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