What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
