First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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