I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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