You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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