I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i think i just lost a toe
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
