Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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