NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
