Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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