who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
