Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
