We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
