rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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