One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
